“There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear because fear involves punishment. The one who fears has not been perfected in love. We love because He first loved us. ”

— 1 John 4:18-19

If you grew up in the Christian community the conversation around love usually ended with 1 John 4:19, ‘ We love because He first loved us’.

But why?

How?

And to whom?

So why love?

And what does it mean that God first loved us?

We already established that we love because God told us to. Which should be enough if we believe in the authority of scripture. But sometimes we need extra help applying a command in our daily lives. Love is also not just one of many commands in the Bible it is THE commandment.

“Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law? Jesus replied: Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.”

— Matthew 22:36-39

So what happens if we choose to love? How would this affect my everyday life and the lives of the people I interact with?

There is power in love.

“There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has no been perfected in love”

— 1 John 4:18

How often is our day and actions decided by fear? Fear of rejection, failure, harm, or even success. Fear of unworthiness, betrayal, and even fear of fear its self. Perfect love casts out fear. Perfect love throws all fears away into the sea of doubt and heartache. When we first, accept and know Christ’s love we are able to understand that the fear of anything of this world is trivial.

We are called to be like Christ, so once we know Christ it’s our job to now love like Christ. Imagine if we lived our lives knowing how powerful love can truly be? Imagine how many chains would be broken if every
Christians took it upon themselves to be a shadow of Christ’s perfect love. There is true transformational power in God’s perfect love. Let’s harness it.

Lastly, we love because nothing else matters in the world if we cannot love.

“If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing. ”

— 1 Corinthians 13:1-3

No matter what you have here on earth if you do not love it is worth nothing.

Money?

Power?

Family?

Popular?

Pretty?

Smart?

Charming?

Count it all lost if you can not use those things and anything else for love.

It’s hard, but love is a choice. Jesus choose to go to the cross for our sins, that’s love. In the garden he was crying out to the Father to remove this cup, this burden from him, he was not feeling like loving us at that moment. Most times you won’t feel like loving people, but you do it anyway. You wake up each day and choose to love the least of these.

Why do we love? Because Christ loved us so much, from the very beginning, he laid down his life for you and me. It’s the least we can do to repaying a love that we never deserve, lets show that love to others today.

Now more than ever, we live in a time of uncertainty. Each day comes with news that is laced with fear, worry, and anxiety. The message right now of fear drives us away from other people.

Recently we have been talking about social distancing, but what we should be saying is physical distancing.

Social Distancing promotes

Isolation

Fear

and Hate

“So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.”

— Matthew 6:31-34

‘Seek the Kingdom of God above all else

The Kingdom of God is Love

Thus if we are commanded to seek the kingdom of God and that will give us all we need and help us not to worry. Then this is the time for love.

It’s extremely hard in times of worry to look beyond the dangers of life and extend grace and love. Thankfully we have a Father ready to sit and listen to the worries we have.

We are not alone.

“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.”

— Philippians 4:6-7

“So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you.”

— Deuteronomy 31:6

After we go to God, we should change our perspective.

“Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.”

— James 1:2-4

Yes what is happening in the world is horrible and I am not trying to downplay that

What I am trying to do is take something horrible and use it to bring love and joy into this world through the love of Jesus.

Do not shy away from the pressure and hardship of this life, but lean into it knowing that the Lord is already in control and will use this for good.

Use this time to evaluate your heart

Is it easy for you to love right now?

If not, what is in the way?

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”

— Philippians 4:8

Lastly, Turn your focus outward to the people around you, serve them, love them, and
pray for them. In whatever ways you can love the people around you. Become one thing is certain.

Which is God’s love for us.

“Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.”

— 1 Corinthians 13:8

Life is hard

We all know that

But life was never promised to be easy

“I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”

— John 16:33

Notice how it says ‘YOU WILL” have tribulation

We are never promised an easy life but we have access to the One who is the source of Life. With
Christ, we are able to see a clear example of someone who loved fearlessly even when life did not love Him back.

Even when Christ was on the cross He found compassion for the ones who were killing him, pleading to
God to forgive them.

“Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing…”

— Luke 23:34

That is Love

Even when you are in pain, still being able to love.

About four years ago life wasn’t so nice to me, I lost someone unexpectedly, someone that I loved
dearly. This event in my life I let stop me from loving people. I pulled away, locked my heart up, and become stuck in my own pity. One of my favorite quotes, now one of my life quotes comes from C.S. Lewis.

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”

— C.S. Lewis

There is risk in loving

But it is clear that there is more risk in choosing not to love

The command to love is not an option; we are to love whether we feel like it or not

“Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.”

— 1 John 4:11

Life is going to leave some scars, cuts, and bruises, we are naïve to think that it won’t.

But the amazing thing about life is God left here on earth a way for us to help heal those wounds

That is to love

My dad tells me

“The best way to get over hurt is to go love someone”

It’s true

Every time life pushes me into the darkness of pain the only thing to pull me out is to love

It can be simple

Bringing someone flowers

Calling a friend

Random act of kindness

But each day, while in that pain, you have to choose to love, it’s not easy, nor is it natural

But it is necessary

If the pain of life has taught me one thing, it is that I am going to love people like crazy. It’s truly a win because even though it’s hard it’s healing for not only me but also for the world around me

Choose to love life, even when it is not loving you back

Many of us know how to extend love to others

Few of us know how to extend that same love to ourselves

I would argue that without the knowledge of self-love we truly do not know how to love others

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”

— Mark 12:30-31

Love your neighbor as yourself

Thusly, if you can not love yourself you can not love your neighbor

If you are loving people without loving yourself then you are not loving them in the way God designed

So, how do we love who God has made us to be?

Firstly, we acknowledge the fact that we are a creation of God

“For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.”

— Psalm 139: 13-14

You are fearfully and wonderfully made.

Every part of you is made by God, there were no mistakes when God created you; your talents, skills, personality are not a surprise or a disappointment to our God. The way you look, act, speak, and see the world are all within God’s plan for your life here on earth. Do not talk poorly about yourself because every time you do, you are criticizing a work of God.

Secondly, Focus less on Self-confidence and more on God-confidence

We live in a world, yes even within the Christian world, where the “You are this” culture is meant to boost our self-confidence just enough to buy the t-shirt from the conference and follow them on social
media. We leave with increased confidence that we are amazing and can take on anything this world brings us.

This is NOT leading us in the true understanding of loving ourselves.

Don’t get me wrong, the power that God brings to your life will enable you to take on anything, but that is only because of the power of God inside of you, nothing dealing with your own accord.

“Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring. Let another praise you and not your own mouth, a stranger and not your own lips. A stone is heavy and sand a burden, but provocation by a fool is heavier than both.”

— Proverbs 27:1-3

“Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.”

— James 4:10

I do not want to grow my self-confidence, because I know, as a human, I am sinful, flawed, and can be a representation of the desires of this world over the desires of our Lord.

I want God-confidence. The self-confidence I want is solely the confidence of knowing that I have my Lord living inside of me, that is the only thing I want confidence in.

The true way to loving yourself is Loving the Lord that is walking with you, He is the only one I want to have confidence in because I know my God will never leave me nor forsake me ( Deuteronomy 31:6). He always has my best interest in mind and works each day for me (Jeremiah 29:11). He establishes my steps (Proverbs 16:9) and I want to walk with Him.

How do we love ourselves?

We know deep in our soul that we are a creation of the Lord

We place on confidence, not in ourselves, but in our perfect Lord whose power can walk us through anything, life throws at us.

We are all suckers for a good romantic story

The passion

The drama

The uncontrollable nature of falling in love

This is the type of love we are all taught to strive for. Through our movies and culture, we are taught to expect and desire what we call ‘Greco-Roman’ love.

Greco-Roman love is an overwhelming, unconditional, sensual force that we don’t have much control over. Think of cupid’s arrow, we happen to fall in love only if struck with his arrow and just as quickly as we fall in love so we can fall right out of it. Ultimately in this concept of love, we have no control over who we love or how we love, we are at the mercy of our feelings.

Thankfully this is NOT what Biblical love is. By believing in the Greco-Roman myth of love we miss the core concept of what the bible teaches us on love.

“Beloved, let us love one another, because love is from God; everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, for God is love. God’s love was revealed among us in this way: God sent his only Son into the world so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the atoning sacrifice for our sins. Beloved, since God loved us so much, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God lives in us, and his love is perfected in us.”

— 1 John 4:7-12

This passage shows us the true concept of Biblical love

1) Love is a choice

“ In this is love, not that we loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the atoning sacrifice for our sins.”

— 1 John 4:10

God made a choice to love us, he chose to send his son to take the sins of the world so we can once again be in perfect union with him.

Jesus chose to go to the cross for our sins, even when His flesh and emotions were convincing Himself to not.

“Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done.”

— Luke 22:43

Verse 11 calls us into this same act of love that we see extended to us through Jesus. We are called to love others not through our feelings and emotions but through commitment and deep caring for their soul.

Biblical love is sacrificial

Biblical love is steadfast

Biblical love transcends good days and bad days

Biblical love is not shaken by my deceitful heart ( Jeremiah 17:9)

Biblical love is laying downs ones life for another ( 1 John 4:9)

2) This Love isn’t about You

Biblical love does not cater to your feelings at each and every turn of life. Because it is from God, Biblical love is far greater than any of our understanding. God showed us, love, by sending His Son into this world so that we might live through him. Therefore, to love someone is not just a feeling or an emotion, but an act of the will accompanied by emotion toward an object.

“We know love by this, that he laid down his life for us—and we ought to lay down our lives for one another.”

— 1 John 3:16

How do we see Biblical love displayed in everyday life?

“Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

— 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Are you or your significant other showing love in these ways? Can you insert your name or their name for the word ‘love’ and this be a true statement?

Yes, a good romantic movie can make you swoon, but I would much rather have a love that is modeled after the way my Father loves me. A love that does not come and go with a flutter of a heart, but a love pushes past the whims of emotion and chooses each day to spur another along towards Christ through the act of love.

Enjoy the slow days, because tomorrow may not be one

Jesus modeled for us the ideal version of work-life balance, in Mark chapter 6, after Jesus feeds the five thousand he sends his disciples ahead of him so that he can rest and pray. ( Mark 6:45-47). So why is rest such a hard concept for many of us to understand and implement. Jesus didn’t wake up each day wondering how He could work more to gain the love, power, affection, position, the influence of this world. He did only what the Father commanded of him and nothing more.

‘Yet the news about him spread all the more, so that crowds of people came to hear him and to be healed of their sicknesses.  But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.’

Luke 5: 15-16

No Striving

No Overthinking

No work-based affirmation

He worked, then rested

He rested so that He could hear what the Father was asking Him to do next. He knew He wasn’t in charge of God’s Will, so why do we? Jesus emptied himself so He could be filled with the Will of God.

‘I lay down and slept; I awoke, for the LORD sustains me.’

Psalm 3:5

After healings, teaching, disciple-making in Matthew 8, we see how Jesus is being demanded by the world to work more, he hears from God to go to the other side of the island, away from the people, to receive what God has in store for him

‘When Jesus saw the crowd around him, he gave orders to cross to the other side of the lake. '

Matthew 8:18

Are we really that important to the working of the world that we forego the rest that the Lord Jesus modeled for us?

The quote I mentioned at the beginning was given to me as I entered full-time ministry. Two years later it is one of my favorite quotes. In the beginning, the slow days were hard to come by, and when they did I enjoyed them because I knew that tomorrow would provide me with the rush and excitement of feeling needed and the joy of hard work accomplished.

This worked until one slow day turned into another turned into 4 months of canceled meetings, lunches, worship nights, games, and most recently all camps.

ALL gone

And here I am, sitting at my desk each day, lost in the quite still sea of silence

The irony is the less work we have the more exgushed I have felt.

My worth is being buried beneath the mundane of each day

God show me

What to do

Where to go

How best to serve my people, family, and work

But I’m stuck, spinning in my mind, striving to prove myself when there is no one around. I pray and call out to God and all I hear, all I need to hear, is

STOP

ABIDE

ABIDE IN MY LOVE

ABIDE IN MY PLAN

ABIDE IN MY STILLNESS

Serve me by being with Me

Love me by being with Me

I don’t need you to do anything I just NEED YOU

Find your worth in who I am inside of you, not who you are outside of me.

The truth that God has been telling me is ‘My Daughter, stop trying so hard at a task that I never asked you to take on.”

I will lead you

I will give you rest

I will show you what steps to take

‘and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

Matthew 28:20

Let’s be Like Jesus and work at what God has told us, and rest when we are blessed with time to do so.